SynFauxNY REPERTOIRE & REHEARSAL SCHEDULE

The Latest on the Mozart Effect

A recent report now says that the Mozart effect is another charming urban legend. The bad news

for the hip urban professionals: Playing Mozart for your designer baby will not improve his IQ

or help him get into that exclusive pre-school. He'll just have to be admitted to Harvard some

other way.

Of course, we're all better off for listening to Mozart purely for the pleasure of it. However, one

wonders that if playing Mozart sonatas for little Tiffany or Jason could boost their intelligence,

what would happen if other composers were played during the kiddies' developmental time?

LISZT EFFECT: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says anything

important.

BRUCKNER EFFECT: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains a

reputation for profundity.

WAGNER EFFECT: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually marry his sister.

MAHLER EFFECT: Child continually screams—at great length and volume—that he's dying.

SCHOENBERG EFFECT: Child never repeats a word until he's used all the other words in his

vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child blames

them for their inability to understand him.

IVES EFFECT: Child develops a remarkable ability to carry on several separate conversations

at once.

GLASS EFFECT: Child tends to repeat himself over and over and over and over and over and

over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

STRAVINSKY EFFECT: Child is prone to savage, guttural and profane outbursts that often

lead to fighting and pandemonium in the preschool.

BRAHMS EFFECT: Child is able to speak beautifully as long as his sentences contain a

multiple of three words (3, 6, 9, 12, etc). However, his sentences containing 4 or 8 words are

strangely uninspired.

CAGE EFFECT: Child says nothing for 4 minutes, 33 seconds. PREFERRED BY

9 OUT OF 10 CLASSROOM TEACHERS.

Partial Musicians Directory

                            Martin Bartolomeo: <BartMart@aol.com>          (Cell): (914) 720-5989

                            Rich Berretta <pianoman051@yahoo.com>            (718) 863-5809 / (C): (347) 866-6073

                            Richard Fabbrizio <richfab@hotmail.com>         (914) 318-8283

                             Ross May (C): (914) 563-3611 / <raymay@verizon.net>
                             Ross recommends the Sonomic Library Card... www.Sonomic.com

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Partial Musicians Directory

Looking for some interesting reading, check out Ken's Misc. Articles Page

When you are finish with this page, check out: | misc articles.html | | misc articles - 02.html | | INTERESTING Links Page -01 | | INTERESTING Links Page -02 | | INTERESTING Links Page -03 | Also, if you're looking for some interesting reading, check out Ken's Misc. Articles Page

Partial Musicians Directory

When you are finish with this page, check out: | misc articles.html | | misc articles - 02.html |
| INTERESTING Links Page -01 |
| INTERESTING Links Page -02 |
| INTERESTING Links Page -03 |

Also, if you're looking for some interesting reading, check out Ken's Misc. Articles Page